Oh how I feel for those that are trying to get their kids to eat!!! I have been struggling with this for SO long now, too, and I HATE it!!!!! But, at the World Wide Leadership training, I got some inspiration (for me, and not because they were talking about how to get your kids to eat... Just because I was thinking about it, etc). I was sick of dinner being an unhappy time. All we did was fight (unless we had pizza...). So, I decided to not care so much about the food. I think it was some comment Elder Holland said about dinner time being together as a family. It definitely wasn’t a good time for our family, and all I could think is, “the kids are going to look back and have bad memories of our ‘family dinner time’”. So, dinner time would now become a family time, not a food time. I decided that for dinner, we would
1) Slow down: Although we are hungry, we aren’t starving. We don’t have to rush into dinner, and rush eating it all. So, we sit down, have a nice prayer, and then slowly dish things out, and slowly eat. We are calm and discuss the day, have a nice conversation, etc.
2) I don’t talk to them about eating: Before we started this all, I sat down with them and explained that every dinner, they must eat what we serve them, or they do not get any more food that night (treats or otherwise). We had been doing this for awhile anyway, so they knew. And they know—so why keep hounding them during dinner? “If you don’t eat your beans, no more food!” They know it, so I don’t need to remind them. All it does is stress me out! They really aren’t going to eat if I keep freaking out, and they especially won’t LIKE eating if it is a screamfest. (Although if they are eating, I give HUGE praise for doing a good job of eating, just no negative comments)
3) I don’t serve them big amounts: I serve small portions of each thing. Maybe three bites of the main dish, five peas/ veggie (that is five of them, not five bites), two peaches/etc, and a small glass of juice/milk, etc. That way they are not overwhelmed. If they want more peaches, etc, then they must finish the other food (and they know that… and that goes for the milk, too). If they actually liked the meal (miracle) then they may have more.
4) They can sit at the table until we have finished cleaning up: After that, they no more chance to eat. We just take away the plate. No fighting, no compromising with them, just walking away. If they decide to throw a fit, oh well. We ignore it. This happened a few times at first, but really hasn’t happen much since. We actually do our scripture reading after dinner (so they even can have their plate there during that time, too). This wraps up a nice dinner together.
It really has changed everything! They may not eat still, but at least I am happy and they are happy. It is more important to me that we are happy than they eat. Everybody say, they will eventually eat… Right. That is a really annoying thing to hear, but truly, we aren’t starving them, and as long as during the day, we provide them with healthy snacks, and they aren’t gorging on candy, etc, then they will be okay. And, actually, I think they are eating better. It is hit and miss. And I still try and sneak veggies into things (I made an orange banana frizz drink with chopped carrots—they had no idea), and I try to make things they will like, still healthy, etc. But, it truly has been MUCH better. Good luck to everyone, and may the force be with you!
10 comments:
Great ideas Britt! That's a good idea to help it be more of a good family time, instead of hounding them to eat their food (which is what we do every meal). Thanks for the great food for thought! :) I'm going to try this tonight.
When I was little. I totally remember my parents forcing food down me. I couldn't even leave the table until all i had been served was gone. So the idea's that you have are so much better. That sounds like an awesome dinner time. Very smart so that they only have very small portions. Great job, great ideas.
Hey Britt. This is Scott's cousin Heather. I am glad i found your blog. I have been struggling with getting Analisa to eat forever. I am totally going to try this. Angelo is the best eater so far. He loves anything, but Analisa is so much harder. Thanks , Come see my blog. Your kids are soooo cute.
Great ideas! I have done some of that, but not on a consistent basis. I will start trying some of these, thanks Britt!
Dinner time has become more of a fight for us too. I think the more negative attention I give them the more negative they respond with.
Thanks for inspiring me to follow through on what I already know (ie -
the steps you outlined). It's always so hard to follow through on true principles.
I love Food! So naturally I think everyone else should too. We shall see how things go when our girls start eating real food :) However Since I do most of the cooking at our house I have big plans for getting my kids to eat healthy, and here... "The Sneaky Chef"is one of the best ideas Ive seen so far. Of course since I'm nowhere near the stage your at with your kids My advice is null and void. Until I test my theories in the future years. Also here is another book, more expensive and the same kind of thing. "Deceptively Delicious" My mom used to make peach cobbler and sneak zucchini into it. We never knew, until she told us! Say Hi to Scott for me!
Sounds like you got a good grasp on this. I was very blessed to have great eaters, especially my little boy. He will eat anything. Probably gets that from his mama. Those are great ideas and I will refer one of my friends to your blog. She has PICKY PICKY eaters.
My kids only eat peanut butter or quesadillas. Dinner is always an "if you don't eat/finish that, then..." fight. I never ate when I was a kid so I understand them a little. However it is very frustrating to cook a meal just to throw it away and then have them crying because they are "starving" 30 minutes later. So thanks for the advice on just be firm on the rules and enjoying the meal. I am going to work on that more.
My food troubles with Jake were over when I watched a show on getting your kids to eat on Dateline 8 years ago....this doctor said wanting our kids to eat 3 squares a day was ridiculous in their tiny stomaches and grazing was fine with only 1 regular meal a day and many times they already had it at lunch time. He also said that they aren't stupid they aren't going to starve to death. My philosophy with jake has been to let him eat as much as HE wants and it usually ends up being what HE needs. I give him 1 healthy with one non healthy.....chicken nuggets with apples, pizza with green beans, mac and cheese with peas. Its a great compromise and if he isn't hungry he doesn't have to eat. There is no love affair with food having not deprived him and he is in control so he makes great decisions even today!! great post! Nikki
I am so with you on this! Brighamhates to eat! He is 3 tomorrow and weighs 26lbs! And we hate dinner time. Thanks for your advice.
Abby
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